And then again

There are days that seem to go on forever and then again there are those that seem to flare and die as a phosphorus flash (or a two and a half gallon glass jug filled with gasoline and Styrofoam, lit on fire, and thrown into a creek). Either case can be great or a drag depending on the day.

This shift in schedule from Saturday/Sunday to Sunday/Monday has got my habits all mixed up. I liked to think that I was flexible but, this simple shift has me turned around pretty well. I remember Thursday as that great day before Friday where everyone is getting excited about the weekend but, can't let themselves get too carried away just yet as there is more than a day of work left to be done. Someone would definitely be bringing in doughnuts tomorrow so I didn't have to worry about breakfast and lunch was definitely Freebirds or Fuego.

Now it does not seem so big a deal just moving my Thursday to Friday... but it is. Maybe I have not given it enough time yet. Then when I get back to the states it will be like the weekend is coming early! It's like daylight savings in the fall when you get that sweet sweet sweet extra hour of sleep. The thing there is that your body figures it out in a week of so and it is just as hard as ever to get out of bed again.

Today I was walking along the road to work thinking about how who I am in the broad scheme and what role I want to play in this wide world. I flipped through several options in my mind.

1. Get my PhD in the field of biosciences and begin teaching as an assistant professor at a university, though I have been around the unversity seen enough to know that this really isn't the best way to enter academia and if one has the option to work first and gain practical experience it is best.

2. Get my PhD and do the latter in the above.

3. Take the MCAT and see about M.D. it is a long shot and I would be an old doctor when I was done.

4. Keep seeking international work and float with my masters around to which ever lab needed me.

5. find a job back home and settle in for the career masters path.

Then with these beginning to clog the ol synapses I remembered that all I am supposed to do is use every breath that I have giving glory to the One that created me because this life is short. It does not mean that I have no dreams or that I am going to just resign as a carnie running a game that you CANNOT win... and even if you did that giant plush Nessie is filled with asbestos, just saying really I am doing you a favor, I mean at least it is fireproof. There is a balance between giving attention to the job at hand and looking out for what is next... and if we could throw on the z axis, a little time for fun. So now we have our three dimensional balance swinging all kinds of crazy.

Kahler and I talked some time ago about a book he was reading. It was describing the way the male brain thinks. The metaphor is this: the male brain brain acts like a Dos-based computing system where one application is open at a time and we work on it until it is done and then we move on to the next. I think that this explains a little bit of my frustration with trying to reconcile the scales. I want to finish one thing and move to the next however, it's turns out to be paramount that these things be done simultaneously. I understand that multi-tasking is nothing new and quite necessary to success in almost every field but, I think I need to reboot.

Tonight I am reading a journal article about PECAM31 cells and their ability to regrow inner arterial walls and filling out a PhD application (which involves updating the CV and personal statement) I think that I could write a new personal statement every night of the week... Maybe I will and try to synthesize it into something comprehensive yet precise.

Well in job news, we had a laboratory meeting this afternoon (every Thursday at 4:15). I have run out of patience with the lab director, if she was not leaving in a week I would have a little 'her or me' sit-down with the Site Director. Today was rough, she was talking to one of the lab staff and included Kahler and I on her continual reaming of this poor girl. She has zero skills as a director. I just about let a volcano of crazy erupt and spew molten verbal rage all over her today when she told me that I could not spin down a sample and that I should let a lab tech do it because it is his/her job. It would have started out something like, 'you should qualify your statement some how because I am physically capable of running this sample and the techs are busy so you can just go die' I mean it gets kind of personal there at the end but, you know something simple and to the point like that. Then again, only one more week, right, I can make it. I promise, I am not bitter, I will just be very thankful when that thorn is removed.

Looking at taking a trip to Livingstone to see Vic Falls here very soon. I am really excited about that! It is hard being so close yet having not been. Transportation is just exponentially more difficult here. No matter though, it's going to be awesome!

Sorry this is kind of a wandering, downer of a post... you just got trapped inside my head reviewing what was unfortunately not my best day. I hope that you have had a fabulous week and hey tomorrow is Friday!

All is fine